What is the quandary you ask?
Well I would have to say that a half of a century of emotional abuse and neglect can alter your thoughts and feeling on how you react in certain situations. If our mother was a loving human being who nurtured us and respected us and made us feel loved and cared about, it would be a normal reaction to want to be with her for her final days with us. However after years of being emotionally abused and attacked by her at every chance, the thought is to not bother, and not go to the funeral either but to just be done with it, and know that she can’t hurt us anymore.
So is it right to feel that way? Is it ok to say no I am not going to go? Should we go to support each other as siblings, or should we say we are the better person here and go simply because she gave birth to us?
She is over 600 miles away she has always moved as far away as she could at least she is only half the distance she was a month ago. But she was just here in my home sleeping in my bed just a few weeks ago. She was here for a whole two nights when she was suppose to be coming to be closer to family. Three days is all she could take before she had to put distance again between us. In those three days she did not have any conversation with me. She did not anymore want to connect with me than before. She did not even ask to see my children or granddaughter or to talk to them on the phone. All I heard before she came was how much she missed me and wanted to see me until she got here and then was ready to leave the moment she set foot in the door. She never called on birthdays or holidays. She never sent a card or gift to the kids or grand kids.
Now she is 600 miles away and in the hospital and might not be around much longer. So I ask what is the right thing to do? Do I take money that would help those near and dear to me to spend on going 600 miles away? It would not even be a question in my mind if she had been a women of morals and conscience and who truly cared about us. So what do I do? I need to really think about that before the time comes. My siblings are all in different states and all in similar situations all with varying degrees and differences but similar none the same.
I welcome your thoughts on the subject. Thank you!